What do the words ‘good horsemanship’ mean to you?
For me it is about our horse/human relationships; understanding our horses and ourselves, mentally, physically and emotionally – A holistic approach to managing, caring for and building trust based relationships with our equine friends.

Over the last 3 yrs I’ve been working with a wide variety of trainers, coaches, behaviourists, and equine therapists, all exploring different; methods, techniques, approaches, and belief’s, and all working to identify the foundations of good horsemanship.

What we found is: ‘Horsemanship’ is not about any specific ‘training’, ‘tool’, ‘method’ or ‘technique’ … It’s all about relationships…

Our ability to connect, understand and empathise, with our horses and ourselves.

Debbie and Caddy connecting with some mutual grooming

In fact I believe it is more about a way of ‘being’ not ‘doing’, ‘who we are’ and ‘how we show up’…

As demonstrated beautifully by my non-horsey husband!!!

– The Science Bit –

1. All cells are in a state of either protection, or, growth and development
2. The brain and neurological system is a social organ, responding to, and learning from others.
3. We all have ‘Mirror neurons’ in the gut and brain, which replicate what is going on around us. – Gut Instincts
4. Emotional nurture is a physiological need.

Building Trust and activating the nervous system with 4yo Feather

The recent advances in science and neuroscience have shown that we cannot grow and develop normally as children. Or learn, develop resilience, and be happy and healthy as adults, without feelings of safety, stability and security.

As such, secure attachment relationships, build brains. Helping our nervous systems find the vital balance between arousal vs. calming – Fight, flight, freeze vs. Rest and Digest.

In fact without comfort and emotional nurture we cannot survive…
As ‘Bolby’ the father of Attachment theories describes: “Seeking a close, trusting relationship, of care, comfort and love, is a natural instinctive behaviour.”

So what does this mean for our horse-human relationships? This brings us to…

– The Art Bit –

1. It’s all about the art of love and relationships.
2. Building trust through Understanding and Communication.
3. Engaging the seeking, play and care emotional systems, as described by Panksepp (1998)
4. Using Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy (PACE – Daniel Hughes, clinical psychologist.) to build strong bonds and encourage learning and development, in our horses & ourselves.

Building bonds through Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy

And so, in 2013 we developed the ‘Understanding Equus’ attachment aware relationship model, ‘TLC’. A simple reminder of the 3 keys to building successful relationships…

TLC = Trust, Listen and Connect.

T = Trust: The foundation of all good relationships. Trust requires empathy – the ability to ‘walk in your horse’s shoes’ – When we feel understood, we feel calmer, more ready to take risks. A calm and alert state means we are ready to learn.

L = Listen: Remember, Emotions drive behaviour and behaviour IS communication. Therefore emotional intelligence is vital for establishing and maintaining positive relationships. The starting point of all good communication is the importance of mindfulness, being truly in the moment, and able to tune in to ourselves and others. This enables us to model the behaviour we wish to see in others.

C = Connect: With love, empathy, creativity and play. Heart-rhythm synchronization occurs between people when they are feeling love and care for each other. Establishing a heart-felt connection and 2 way communication is vital to achieve the appropriate level of growth and development. Engaging the seeking, play and care systems to encourage and stimulate learning.

Respond and engage; assessing needs and activating the nervous system, through touch, or physical engagement.

Relax, balance and regulate; To sense, listen, and feel in the moment, without the distraction of the past, or the future.

Challenge and Stimulation; is vital for learning and neuroplasticity means we ALL have the ability to change and learn new things.

This model underpins the ‘Understanding Equus’ Horsemanship Coaching and ‘Equine Assisted Learning’ programs for horse owners, adults and young people:

– Horsemanship Coaching –

It is my belief that there is no ‘one’ or ‘best’ way to training and being with horses, and different methods and approaches, suit different people and different horses.
Each horse and human is unique, a product of their own genetics and life experiences. Therefore each will resonate with and respond to different training methods and approaches.
My work as a horsemanship coach reflects this, as I help people to: Build better relationships and find what methods, training and support they need, to realize their dreams.

– EAL –

Together with emotion coaching, the ‘TLC’ model forms the basis of the Equine Assisted Learning and Development Courses and programs we run.
Partnering with the horses, we offer Coaching and Facilitation for adults and young people.
1. For personal or professional development, life and social skills.
2. Developing leadership, teamwork and communication skills.
3. Building trust, confidence, emotional intelligence, self belief and resilience

Including the ‘Building Connections’ EAL program for young people in care. This is a 6-10 Week program, interacting with horses, helping children to develop life and social skills, emotional resilience, confidence and trust, in themselves & others.

Summary

So, next time you go to your horse, remember:
“Be the change you want to see in your horse”

Stop, ground yourself, and breath…

Then just think, we all need a little: TLC –
Trust, Listen and Connect, to build happy and healthy relationships

Photo’s taken at The Natural Equine Fair 2015.

Thank you to Lindy Wale and all the students at Kingston Maurward College for organizing, to Lorrie Bee & Hazel-Ann Wilson for the beautiful photo’s, to Caddy, Feather and Charlotte for braving the audience and to all who attended for your input and questions. Thank you also to my long-suffering husband! We hope you enjoyed the day and left with plenty of food for thought.

More learning & laughter with founder member Carolyn Bourchier at MOM’s

As a teenager with dreams of ‘Champion the Wonder Horse’ and ‘The Black Stallion’ filling my consciousness, I felt conflicted within the competitive horse world and came to reject ‘Dressage’ & most formal training methods. Instead, I went searching for what I thought was a more humane approach that considered and understood the horses more. This meant that when I was introduced to some top class dressage & classical trainers like Charles De Kunffy & Arthur Kottas from the Training The Teachers of Tomorrow team my mind was closed and lessons were missed. However, with our guest trainers in this last series, Cathy Sirett and Patty Burrows both having trained with top class Classical Training Instructors, my mind has now been re-opened to something I had completely missed before!! This is my spiral of learning!

Like others I’m sure, I was so caught up and upset by the seemingly restrictive nature of ‘Dressage’ and the sometimes brutal techniques used by some competitive and professional riders, the likes of which we sadly still see today; Rollkur, the inappropriate use of whips and spurs and the restrictive tools like flash nose bands, draw reins etc. All I could see was the mental and physical pain caused within this discipline and didn’t want to be part of using such training methods and techniques. This is ultimately what sent me down the road to ‘natural horsemanship’, training to become a ‘Monty Roberts’ Instructor back in the late 1990’s and founding the ‘Understanding Equus’ approach to horsemanship.

MOM’s Founder & life-long student of the horse, Debbie Reilly

As time has moved on, my experience and levels of understanding have increased with the help of the horses themselves and such trainers like Patty and Cathy, and I now realize that there was an important element that I was missing. When I was an RGN in the NHS dealing with human patients I first came to believe that we cannot treat the mental, physical and emotional bodies in isolation and the key to optimum health and wellbeing is a truly holistic approach. I also noticed the limitations of traditional methods of modern medicine and moved into more holistic therapies that understood the links between the mind & body, training in massage, acupressure and more recently Chirokinetic therapy. Now, with horses I can see the importance of the classical approaches to training the horse’s body, from the ground into the saddle using gymnastic exercises. Preparing them physically for riding, as well as working with the emotional, behavioural & mental aspects of our partnerships.

Patty Burrows and Cathy Sirett

As our spiral of learning and development continues I invite all horse lovers, owners, trainers and specialists to join me in keeping an open mind and non-judgmental manner, as we strive to share knowledge & skills with a multitude of professionals all working together for the good of the horses. Like most of us who love and try to develop mutually beneficial relationships with our horses through understanding and gentle communication, we hope you agree that no healthy partnership is built through the use of discomfort alone. So as we continue to explore the different methods, techniques and philosophies available in the horse-world today, from classical to natural techniques, from reward based training to negative reinforcement let’s remember that all methods and approaches are open to misuse and abuse. So come and help us to identify the keys to good horsemanship and promote the importance of a holistic approach in the care, management and training of our horses.

In the meantime, please ‘like’, share and comment on the Understanding Equus Facebook page. Ask questions, join the discussions and feel free to post content that shares our philosophy of ‘care, communication & compassion’ for our equine friends. Let’s open more minds to the wonderful possibilities. You may see the odd ‘tool’, philosophy or method you disagree with and you will not resonate with all the approaches available but our aim is not to attack and isolate those that are just starting on their journey to understanding but to encourage questioning and the idea that there may be a better way…

Photograph by Carolyn J Seager

During this time there has been an explosion of horse behaviour specialists, confidence coaches, natural horsemanship instructors, training systems and professionals throughout the world, giving people access to an exciting range of help with understanding, managing and training their equine friend(s). Yet at the same time there is no easy way to know which approach is going to suit you and your horse’s individual needs…

I was fortunate to be introduced to horses and riding at the age of 5yrs and as many may relate, so started a love affair that took me on a life changing journey. This journey of discovery, about myself and what these wonderful animals can teach us, became my personal ‘Spiral of learning’. In the early days it was tough learning, with a traditional approach and little consideration for the horses, I spent a lot of time gaining some impressive bruises and learning lessons the hard way!!

With access to the Pony Club I worked through the exams increasing my knowledge where I could and as I became more proficient I was often asked to ride some of the more difficult or ‘problem’ ponies with varied results. As a teenager I started to ‘listen’ to the horses and understand their needs more. Using my intuition I adapted my approach for each horse and was soon successfully rehabilitating horses.

During this time I also had access to learning from some of the better known trainers like Jane Holderness-Roddam, Pat Burgess, Lars Sederholm and Lucinda Green where I learnt invaluable lessons that I still rely on today to develop good partnerships…

My journey then took a different turn and when I met Monty Roberts in 1996 I became inspired to study the language of the horse and learn what I could about equine behaviour. During this time I began to study and work with other ‘horsemanship’ trainers, including John Lyons, Michael Peace, Richard Maxwell, Kelly Marks, and many more. I went on to become an Instructor in Monty’s methods, from 2000 – 2004, helping Monty and his team set up the International Learning Centre in the USA and the training programs that now run worldwide. It was around this time that I really started to open my eyes and learn from the horses themselves, accelerating my understanding and building on my previous knowledge and skills. This is when my true path and journey to ‘Understanding Equus’ really began…

Now, with over 20yrs experience as a professional horse trainer, I continue to remain open to learning and listening to my horses. By 2004, with many success stories under my belt, it was easy to become complacent and confident that I had all the tools I needed… BUT as is the way of horses, I was soon to be reminded that no one way is the only way!!

Since then, I have developed my skills as a ‘horsemanship coach’, recognising that each individual horse/human partnership is unique and therefore responds to a different approach… Having first hand experience of the importance of a holistic and multi faceted approach to managing our equine relationships, I continue to strive to learn and share knowledge, working with other equine professionals to increase my levels of understanding and my ability to help each new partnership. Sowing the seeds for the Understanding Equus ‘Meeting of Minds’ program…

Carolyn Bourchier

My passion and dream has been to get professionals with different approaches to work together in a non judgemental manner, coming together to share knowledge and skills for the good of the horses. All working together to identify the keys to optimising our relationships, whilst enabling people to get a taste of what help is available and to openly question different techniques and methods, to find what works for them and their unique partners. So finally, in association with my friend and colleague, Carolyn Bourchier, who has trained with a variety of other professionals including Franklin Levinson, Carolyn Resnick, Farah DeJohnette and Rupert Issacson, we started the Understanding Equus ‘Meeting of Minds’ program.

Wanting to share our experiences, review our learning and openly question our own techniques we started to explore the real foundations of good horsemanship.

So if you have an open mind, I’d love to meet you. Whether you’re a horse owner or horse lover, a trainer, coach or any other equine professional, let’s come together to share knowledge and skills, helping us all to optimise our relationships with horses and one other.