During a quick break for some lunch she asked me a question that I have heard so many times before in my previous experience as a horse trainer and behaviour specialist, “how do you deal with biting horses?”. Strangely though I was thrown by the question and I found myself going into my old default mode of “Well it depends on the reason why the horse is biting…” We talked about this for a bit and both agreed that there was always a reason. These can range from their natural curiosity and need to explore and understand the world and build strong bonds through mutual grooming. To early weaning practices and coping mechanisms to handle pain or stress, training and handling practices that trigger fear and the ‘fight’ response, causing horses to feel the need to defend themselves. All the way through to the sad situation of horses that have learnt the benefit of being aggressive towards people.

I then heard myself going back even further to say, ‘well in my days as a Monty Robert’s Instructor, we would teach the 5 different approaches to dealing with biting…” and our discussions continued as we talked about a variety of ways to reduce the behaviour depending on the underlying cause. However, it wasn’t until I was driving home that this question popped back in my mind, and again I felt strangely unsettled – How do I deal with biting horses? I suddenly realised I hadn’t actually answered her question. I had talked about things that I have done in the past and different approaches used by different trainers but I hadn’t told her what I do now. So, what was the answer to this question?

I let it quietly filter through my mind and I realised I genuinely wasn’t sure… Why? Then the realisation dawned on me that I no longer come across this issue anymore. That’s not to say that I won’t again in the future but it now seems so rare. Again, why? I thought back to my work with the lovely ‘Boot’s a few years ago who was certainly practiced at showing aggressive behaviours and threatening to bite, what did I do then?

Then boom, it came to me: ‘Extinction’! In psychology, extinction refers to the gradual weakening of a conditioned response that results in the behavior decreasing or disappearing. In other words, the conditioned behavior eventually stops. Only, I realised there was more to it than that, and perhaps through the use of extinction I had in fact largely eliminated it from even my own psyche, hence the difficulty in answering the question!

As I pondered the question further I began to realise that I no longer seem to even come across this problem, and again, I wondered why? Perhaps it is about the law of attraction – “what you resist, persists”, and instead of focusing on fixing a problem, I now always focus on developing a strong foundational relationship first. A relationship where touch is explored and consent is not taken for granted. Perhaps it is because touch is now a two-way process, where I allow horses to touch and explore me with gentle but clear boundaries in mind? Perhaps it is because I spend the time to just ‘be’ with the horses, developing a trusting bond before I ask for more? Perhaps it is because I have changed my approach and I am no longer overstretching horses and asking them to do things that they feel unable to cope with?

Perhaps it is because I now understand that all behaviour is communication, and emotions drive behaviour, therefore I am always working with the emotional horse and modelling what I would like to see in them? Perhaps it is because I am now reading and listening to the horses better, noticing the subtle signs and adjusting my approach accordingly. Or perhaps it is because I no longer see biting as a behaviour to be fixed or changed but in fact as a simple form of communication? The questions remain and the answer is allusive but you know what, it really doesn’t matter because clearly, things have changed and I am happy to celebrate that fact!!

If you’d like to find out more about my new ‘Mindful Partners’ coaching programme, empowering horse owners to become the person their horse(s) chooses to connect with and follow, then please contact me, Debbie at: info@understandingequus.co.uk

©Understanding Equus 2019

‘Perception’:
“The ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses.”
“The way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted.”

As the gate latch clicks behind me, my heart sings when I see ‘Boots’ lift her head from the grass and look over. A smile spreads through me as she turns to walk, and then trot, over to greet me. It’s taken a while but for me, I feel things are starting to change. Slowing respectfully, she draws near, reaching out her long neck to say hello & inhale my scent.

“Hello beautiful,” my whole being says, as we take a moment to check in with each other. Warm breath on my hand, ears pricked and curious, I step to her shoulder and reach out to stroke her. “Let’s go and check out the fresh grass by the brook”. I head off with purpose and she raises her head, still, yet enquiring. After a moment she starts to follow and I pause to let her catch up. Together we walk towards the bottom gate as her mum joins in with our stride…

“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” Henri Bergson

I remember back to the first time I saw her. Alone in her stable she was snatching mouthfuls of hay and looking out, eyes wide, head high. A beautiful tri-colour tobiano, she reminded me of my last horse Mr M, yet something was not right. She appeared detached, agitated, and unsure. Her owner was telling me about her past…

It was a complex story; 8 different places she’d lived, in as many years. She’d experienced a whole range of different trainers, riders, and handlers, as well as the lady who owned and bred her who’d called me to help. She’d had two significant injuries by the age of 6 months: one at only 5 weeks old, the other, when weaned from her mum. She was known to rear occasionally when being led, I later found out, flipping over at least 3 times on separate occasions when being asked to load into a trailer. Plus she didn’t like to be clipped, requiring sedation to do so.

Yet interestingly, I’d been asked to come and help with her ‘loading problem,’ as otherwise ‘all was fine’. She just had a tendency to sometimes be a bit ‘stubborn’, ‘cheeky’ and occasionally, a bit of a ‘grumpy mare’.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

I have long been fascinated by how we all see and perceive things so differently. Yet it is only more recently that I have started to really understand the extent to which we all filter what we see, hear, and even feel. Filling in the gaps to see what we are looking for, according to our internal beliefs. This in turn shapes our behaviour and actions, creating more of what we believe.

When I became a mum, I took the opportunity to question what I do, to step back and explore the advances in horse training and related science. The idea of the Alpha mare and dominance theory now put into question, I wanted to find out more. Through the ‘Meeting of Minds’ program and my own continued research, I now believe that there are endless ways of doing, and seeing things. Yet I understand that for so many, this is not the case.

During this time, I also came across attachment theories and began to understand that it is not about what training method, tool, or technique we use. It is all about the ‘Art and Science of Relationships’ and the importance of feelings of safety, stability, and security, in order to learn and grow. How we can build mutually beneficial partnerships, to become the leader our horses want to follow.

To achieve this, I do my best to keep an open, positive and non-judgemental mind. To stop, ground myself and breathe, helping me to become fully aware and present in the moment. To listen to, and connect with, all my senses, and to become more aware of the conclusions and judgements I make.

For I believe that ALL behaviour IS communication, and emotions drive behaviour. This leads me to become curious, to wonder, what is a horse trying to tell me? How are they feeling and why, and perhaps more importantly, what can I do to help support, or change this?

Next time I will be sharing my first few sessions with ‘Boots’. The shock and surprise I had when I saw what she really had to say, and the first steps I took, to start building a bond and trust based relationship…

In the meantime, I wonder what YOU see, hear, or feel, when you watch this short clip of ‘Boots’, her mum and I, down by the brook together…? My non-horsey husband says he see’s two horses eating, with some birds singing in the background!! Of course he is right, as this is his perception, but I’m really curious to find out if you see, hear, or feel anything different…

So sit back, make sure your volume is turned up, and click the link here…
Please leave your comments below, and thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Till next time, enjoy the moment, with a little TLC

With best wishes

Debbie